Since this is the holiday season and I am in the spirit, I figured I would apply a tried-and-true way from my childhood of getting my wishes fulfilled.  With that in mind…

Dear Santa:

I was good this year (I think) and I was hoping you could help me out with my wishes.  Below is a partial list.  Feel free to use your infinite discretion.

1)     A PC that does not freeze on me every other day.  I know I have asked for this in the past, but no matter how many upgrades and state-of-the-art purchases I make, I still freeze up.

2)     A clean desk.  I know you did not mess it up, but whatever you could do to fix this issue would be greatly appreciated by me (and my co-workers).

3)     Test tools that are way too complicated for people to use.  Enough with the wizards and stuff in the tools.  Give me tools that only consultants can figure out.

4)     Vendor conferences at different times of the year in exotic locales.  Why do all the vendors have them in May and June? And why in the desert in summer? How about the Bahamas in winter? That works for me!

5)     While we’re on the vendors, how about deals with no paperwork.  No more 50 forms and 22 acronyms inputted into 30 different systems.  One email and that’s it.

6)     Can you make cell phones with ear zappers?  If you talk on the train/bus while others are around, you get zapped.

7)     I need a “Guide to the Y Generation” book.  What’s with YouTube, Facebook, MySpace, etc? Let’s force people to have to speak face to face, not Facebook to Facebook. (I should put that comment on my LinkedIn page).

8)     Anabolic steroids and HGH for my Knicks.  Hey - if it works for Bonds and Clemens, why not?  They can’t be any worse.

9)     While we’re on sports, how about blinders for my Dallas Cowboys’ Tony Romo? Every time he looks into the stands at Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson, he stops looking at T.O. and Witten!

10)  A customer who would like a 10-year deal for as many people as we have.

11)  A golf club that hits a ball straight.  The ones I have bought all seem to be damaged.

12)  A fantasy football season where one of my top guys does not break his leg (see Willie Parker and all of my other players over the past).

13)  A fantasy tester game where RTTS people are picked in the first round.

14)  Oh yeah.  One more.  Peace on earth and good will towards men (and women and children).

Thanks Santa!!!

Respectfully,

Bill Hayduk